Entertaining a somewhat regular tarot practice is actually quite nice. Today is the dark moon in Leo and who knows what will happen when Uranus, Mars, and the north node square the Sun, Moon, and Mercury. I took a short walk to the supermarket in order to restock on gluten-free flour, yeast, and some green leafs. Then I mainly hung out with myself and looked forward to a soothing dark moon relaxation and reflection. I can get overwhelmed with messages when I do too many readings on top of each other. That is why I decided to repurpose four cards from the Rise’n’Shine Tarot Spread to fill position one and two of Emily’s New Moon in Leo spread that I picked as a companion for the self-care session. While soaking my feet in a blend of herb-salt-soda bathwater, I pondered on the draw. The cards all point me into the direction of surrendering, no more hurried decision taking, no more struggling with my own thoughts. I appreciate this moment of rest and stillness. Let’s hope that the world events will fall in line with the same message.
Impostor in disguise
Sometimes I do things quick and dirty because I feel trapped in a tight-knit family dress and believe that jumping ahead of myself is the best way forward. Many parents, or otherwise busy people, easily get into the habit of rushing their tasks, fearing not being able to finish and manifest what they really dream of. I am in Spain now and my husband and son are at the beach for two weeks, leaving me completely alone in our new flat. It should be the perfect time to get things done, and I even do get things done, and everything looks FINE. But what the heck is going on inside of me? I find myself looking up business advice, counselling sessions, tarot readers, well, simply the full range of self-improvement tools for spiritual business owners. But as I scroll and scroll and scroll, I realise that I am caught up in a very unhelpful pattern.
I have already attended numerous courses in astrology and energy healing. I have polished my website, included a scheduling tool with available times, finalised a Patreon page, and even started a NEW YouTube channel (click here if curious) where I can embody the professional astrologer, starting on a clean slate, now that I have shed the skin of my so called “old life”. I realise that all of my weird behaviour is not rooted in a lack of preparation, but that it is a slice of impostor in disguise. The Numinous Spirit Press gave me really nice cards in the Rise’n’Shine Tarot Spread. In the position of what I need to clarify about my ambition to rise and shine, I got XIII Death and the Child. It tells me that I am no longer stuck, I have made the changes I wanted to make, and I have been brave and skilful. It is just about giving myself some time combusting old energy webs and giving my astrology baby space to breathe!
Connecting the dots
Usually the headlines for my blogposts evolve as I type. For this entry I looked at the tarot card in focus and thought of the heaven above with all its dots and knew exactly what the reflection would be about. Each dot in the sky itself does not make a lot of sense, but as we learn to look at the bigger picture everything gets so much clearer. My wish to create my own income as an astrologer is not meaningful in isolation, but it makes a lot of sense in the context of my path up until now. I have been seeking a lifestyle that allows for daily spiritual dedication, I have been looking for a way to make my sensitivity useful to other people without having to sacrifice my power, and I have been and will be an eternal student, which invites me to being self-employed and constantly enhancing my skill set. It might be trendy to be an astrologer, but it is part of the night sky that I occupy and share with everybody else. The Star is my chosen significator card for this month, and I am happy to let it connect the dots in my work-life jigsaw puzzle.
Rise’n’Shine Tarot Spread
This past month I have spent working with the tarot cards that came up in the Reclaim Tarot Spread. The Queen of Wands was the last card in the spread that I recently connected into my daily life. In order to continue my slow paced and embodied tarot practice, I now designed a new tarot spread for Leo season; the Rise’n’Shine Tarot Spread. This spread is all about creating awareness around my ambition and finding ways to live in accordance with it each and every day. I actively chose the Star card from the Trionfi della Luna Paradoxical to represent the area in my life in which I wish to rise and shine. I then did the rest of the spread with the Numinous Tarot and Threadbound Oracle as usual. These upcoming weeks I will work on each one of these cards, which means to integrate them through embodied reflection. If you want to do the Rise’n’Shine tarot reading for yourself, you can find the printable pdf-sheet here 🙂
Raven going pink
We made it to Spain and our stuff also made it to Spain, arriving with the moving company only twelve hours after us. Since our arrival, I have been focusing in on the last card in my Reclaim Tarot Spread, the Queen of Wands. If you want to see our new flat, receive some behind the scenes updates, and hear me recap on my tarot practice in more detail, make sure to subscribe to my newsletter. The Queen of Wands occupied the position of the overall guiding energy that would result from the reclamation process that I started after quitting my job in the middle of June. The life changes that I have worked for have created the space around me to finally embody the Queen of Wands fully. She is no longer an aspiration, dream, or idea; I am living her every day. Also, the queen in me, which has always been so earthy and black, now feels ethereal and pink in her expression. The transition from being a black raven to adding pink comes as such a surprise, but I see the change as an actual energy shift taking place. It is easy to get stuck in past assumptions of who we are when we imagine our place of ownership and action. I am happy to be surprised; and if pink is the guiding colour now, I will go for it!
Tuning (into) the rainbow
Rainbow cakes taste good all months of the year, my son loves everything colourful, and I feel queer even though straight, proud mum, married, presumptively cis-gendered, maybe a bit on the non-binary side, but it is only so far I can get with myself, exploring all the labels to choose from. In the end I can only be myself and need to work those undissolved awkwardnesses and magical uniquenesses in the few inches of decompressed vacuum space that I have left. Time and time again I feel startled by my desire to belong and the moments when I cannot find a cohesive expression of myself. One day I can go grunge, all flannel, the greyer the better. The next day I get a new tidy sweater in one of the posh shops and an expensive perfume. I am a shapeshifter and it scares me but I find comfort in thinking that this is what energy work is like. Tuning into the spectrum of energies from big waves to tiny waves and back again, able to sense it all, to understand it all, to manipulate it all, and to be it all, like tuning (into) the rainbow.
Gate to Oweynagat
In the online witchcraft community we follow our own eclectic ways with an open heart and inclusive mind. While the intention is good, it reminds of the scene in the Monty Python movie ‘The Life of Brian’ where people in a crowd shout, “we are all individuals”, with only one voice protesting, “I am not”. Applied to my life this means, even though I want to think of myself walking my self-authored talk, I feel that my struggle for legitimacy is more real than I would like to admit. So while I am stirring my own magical stew, being part of the crowd in Ireland means to visit the Morrigan’s cave. I have heard other followers of the Morrigan say they had been bullied for not going, and I will not miss out on this opportunity to do it right while I get the chance. We made it to her cave which surprisingly was not titled the Morrigan’s cave at all. Translated from Gaelic, the cave is called the Cave of the Cats. It is the warrior queen Medb who is the central figure of the place with its mounds, waters, and the cave, while certainly the Morrigan is tightly woven to her and the cave as well. If I had planned our trip more properly, I could have participated in the two hours guided tour. But arriving in Rathcroghan spontaneously, I prioritised a quick visit to the cave together with my family, saying hello to a goddess of my imagination, happy to leave a tiny offering unnoticed by the archaeologists who do the tours. Even if I could have done better from a cultural appreciation point of view, I am glad I visited Oweynagat softly opening and closing the cattle gate all by myself this time. My next visit will be better prepared and if you want to go and visit the cave, check out this website
The History of Rathcroghan
Taken by the faeries
Who the h**l would honk at us
waiting for our turn at a stop sign?? As far as we could see, we had done everything right, and the confrontation with the impatience and rudeness of our species left us in deep shock. However, there was a however to the story, when we discovered the loss of our yellow Kånken backpack some hours later. The last place we had seen it was on the roof of our car. The bag had been involved in an emergency nappy stop amidst the green Irish wetness. Our insights concerning the previous whereabouts of our backpack suddenly explained a lot. So what do you do when you drop the nappy bag that also contains a rain jacket, a fleece, the book of the hungry caterpillar, and the tale of the mole with the poop on his head. You zoom into satellite views on Google maps and spend the next day driving back, talking to people, and leaving your number. I asked the Druidcraft tarot, it answered 7 of Pentacles, showing a cloaked figure cutting a mistletoe. There is a time to sow and a time to cut. We did not find the yellow Kånken but at least we tried. Maybe it was taken by the faeries or perhaps we simply lost a bag. It happens from time to time…
Sorry not sorry I broke the rhythm of posting a daily blog entry. I actually love uploading to this space every day because it gives me the chance to reflect and share on a deep level. However, these past days I had the opportunity to engage in an almost forgotten activity: meeting friends IRL. The fun part is it happened in Ireland on our roadtrip, it sounds like a stretch, but it is not, it is what our ancestors would have done, travelling to connect, trade, and chat, I am leaving it here for today 🙂