Today I decided to do an add-on daily draw to boost the message of the Six of Bells and Seven of Ink. The Six of Bells and Seven of Ink had already let me know that it would be a good idea to communicate my current course of action and to shine with pride as I follow my ambition. In order to connect with this message even more deeply, I engaged the latest newcomer on my tarot and oracle shelves, the Wild Unknown Alchemy deck. It said “Neptunus”, which an astrologer immediately translates into “water”, “dissolution”, “faith”. The funny thing about these cards in a row is that all of them contain rays; how fitting for the Rise’n’Shine Tarot Spread. To me the cards seem to say that I can send my prayers and intentions to the godly realms, letting them answer and guide me. I have nothing to defend in the solid world of the day-to-day, the higher wisdom of the divine will speak on my behalf. Keep going and trust in the alchemy of faith!
Entertaining a somewhat regular tarot practice is actually quite nice. Today is the dark moon in Leo and who knows what will happen when Uranus, Mars, and the north node square the Sun, Moon, and Mercury. I took a short walk to the supermarket in order to restock on gluten-free flour, yeast, and some green leafs. Then I mainly hung out with myself and looked forward to a soothing dark moon relaxation and reflection. I can get overwhelmed with messages when I do too many readings on top of each other. That is why I decided to repurpose four cards from the Rise’n’Shine Tarot Spread to fill position one and two of Emily’s New Moon in Leo spread that I picked as a companion for the self-care session. While soaking my feet in a blend of herb-salt-soda bathwater, I pondered on the draw. The cards all point me into the direction of surrendering, no more hurried decision taking, no more struggling with my own thoughts. I appreciate this moment of rest and stillness. Let’s hope that the world events will fall in line with the same message.
Sometimes I do things quick and dirty because I feel trapped in a tight-knit family dress and believe that jumping ahead of myself is the best way forward. Many parents, or otherwise busy people, easily get into the habit of rushing their tasks, fearing not being able to finish and manifest what they really dream of. I am in Spain now and my husband and son are at the beach for two weeks, leaving me completely alone in our new flat. It should be the perfect time to get things done, and I even do get things done, and everything looks FINE. But what the heck is going on inside of me? I find myself looking up business advice, counselling sessions, tarot readers, well, simply the full range of self-improvement tools for spiritual business owners. But as I scroll and scroll and scroll, I realise that I am caught up in a very unhelpful pattern.
I have already attended numerous courses in astrology and energy healing. I have polished my website, included a scheduling tool with available times, finalised a Patreon page, and even started a NEW YouTube channel (click here if curious) where I can embody the professional astrologer, starting on a clean slate, now that I have shed the skin of my so called “old life”. I realise that all of my weird behaviour is not rooted in a lack of preparation, but that it is a slice of impostor in disguise. The Numinous Spirit Press gave me really nice cards in the Rise’n’Shine Tarot Spread. In the position of what I need to clarify about my ambition to rise and shine, I got XIII Death and the Child. It tells me that I am no longer stuck, I have made the changes I wanted to make, and I have been brave and skilful. It is just about giving myself some time combusting old energy webs and giving my astrology baby space to breathe!
When I attended a neo-shamanic training, one of the teachers addressed the momentum tunnel. The momentum tunnel is a metaphore for our lives being constructed by habits, beliefs, and dependencies that keep us in a set trajectory where shifts seem impossible. In order to escape the speedy movement through the tunnel, we either need to slow down or reduce the load so that we can make a safe turn. Recently I contacted my predictive reader and received bad news regarding my hopes to create an income from astrology and tarot services. I do believe in the view of my reader but will I let those news get me down and change my plans? In fact not, because I believe even more in my capacity to change my life into the direction I am envisioning. With the information from the reading, however, I am prepared to let the evolution take time. I received the Queen of Swords twice this past week: as my guide on my path and as a mode to reclaim my power on a professional level. I will need to hold on to my vision, take time to create space for the next steps, let the momentum slow down, and allow the universe to show me what is meant for me. It does not mean my longing is everything, it does not mean my path will be exactly like _this_, but it will mean that I am on my way and believe in my ability to create something that provides what I am looking for on an archetypal level.
The smoke detector that went off in the middle of the night was a bit dystopian but apart from that the ambience of our last minute booking radiated the luxury of Christian Grey. After jumping on top of a suitcase, pressing reset, and cuddling back into the sheets with my sleeping mask and earplugs in place, it took some more hours before finding an elaborate printed apology at our doorstep and getting ready for breakfast. Very little alienated we got coffee and we got tea, my dear, and got our toast roasted on both sides. Then hubby carried all our luggage back to the car and in the next step we enjoyed the ride on the left lane, asking ourselves why people plant tight hedges around their crops and pastures that block our view on the pastoral landscape. After finding most of the lunch places in Kettering closed, we got ourselves a DIY tortilla kit at Sainsbury’s and headed off for the playground. I am in the car now, waiting for my turn to play, watching the wardens who are patrolling the parking spaces to get a catch. I am avoiding the card of the day, XVI Revolution, as I am seeking out a trajectory of transition rather than a radical break with the life I am leaving behind. It could be a sign of maturity and perhaps changing country, work situation, language, etcetera, is just good enough to count as a personal revolution already.
Have I relaxed into my cactus spaceship now? Maybe with one pinky toe but change takes time and the older I get the longer it seems to take. At least the years have taught me that chocolate makes everything in (my) life easier. We drove some hours from our hotel in Bremen to Hoek van Holland to board the ferry to Harwich. My husband’s brother, who lives in the Netherlands, waved us goodbye with a well-filled lunch bag. My focus tarot card of the day is the second one in my “reclaim” tarot spread, the Ace of Cups. I find the suit of cups the most challenging as it is somewhat intangible and vague that I have difficulties integrating its messages by practical steps. It is like you cannot force a feeling of love, it needs space to grow, and as long as the practicalities of life suffocate the space, how could love emerge? I will need to have patience with myself, creating space, like the space around the chalice in the Ace of Cups in the Intuitive Night Goddess Tarot. The chalice is left alone to glow and an energised moth climbs out of its opening just at the right time. Meanwhile, let’s have a bite of chocolate, Tony’s Chocolonely, for the chocomaniac’s among us.