The momentum tunnel

When I attended a neo-shamanic training, one of the teachers addressed the momentum tunnel. The momentum tunnel is a metaphore for our lives being constructed by habits, beliefs, and dependencies that keep us in a set trajectory where shifts seem impossible. In order to escape the speedy movement through the tunnel, we either need to slow down or reduce the load so that we can make a safe turn. Recently I contacted my predictive reader and received bad news regarding my hopes to create an income from astrology and tarot services. I do believe in the view of my reader but will I let those news get me down and change my plans? In fact not, because I believe even more in my capacity to change my life into the direction I am envisioning. With the information from the reading, however, I am prepared to let the evolution take time. I received the Queen of Swords twice this past week: as my guide on my path and as a mode to reclaim my power on a professional level. I will need to hold on to my vision, take time to create space for the next steps, let the momentum slow down, and allow the universe to show me what is meant for me. It does not mean my longing is everything, it does not mean my path will be exactly like _this_, but it will mean that I am on my way and believe in my ability to create something that provides what I am looking for on an archetypal level.

Swallowed in one piece

My focus card for today was the fourth card in my ”reclaim” tarot spread: VIII Strength. Strength showed up to describe the process of reclamation in my relationship life and it feels both very accurate and manilayered in this position. The card tells me to claim some of my energy back by continuously working on firm boundaries while keeping an openness towards compromises. The balance between my and others needs is an issue for anyone of us almost all the time. There is no exhaustive guide to the rights and wrongs in connecting with others, no cheat sheet with the corrects quiz answers to the ”getting you”. I want to let Strength remind me that a loss of boundaries is natural in certain situations and moments. Becoming a parent is only one of those life events when the lion swallows us in one piece. Doing the parenting with someone is a complex achievement that can drain us as much as it brings delight. There is no shame in letting boundaries slip and slowly claiming them back.

Just good enough

The smoke detector that went off in the middle of the night was a bit dystopic but apart from that the ambience of our last minute booking radiated the luxury of Christian Grey. After jumping on top of a suitcase, pressing reset, and cuddling back into the sheets with my sleeping mask and earplugs in place, it took some more hours before finding an elabotate printed apology at our doorstep and getting ready for breakfast. Very little alienated we got coffee and we got tea, my dear, and got our toast rosted on both sides. Then Miguel carried all our luggage back to the car and in the next step we enjoyed the ride on the left lane, asking ourselves why people plant tight hedges around their crops and pastures that block our view on the pastoral landscape. After finding most of the lunch places in Ketterling closed, we got ourselves a DIY tortilla kit at Saintsbury’s and headed off for the playground. I am in the car now, waiting for my turn to play, watching the wardens who are patrulling the parking spaces to get a catch. I am avoiding the card of the day, XVI Revolution, as I am seeking out a trajectory of transition rather than a radical break with the life I am leaving behind. It could be a sign of maturity and perhaps changing country, work situation, language, etcetera, is just good enough to count as a personal revolution already.

A mouth full of chocolate

Have I relaxed into my cactus spaceship now? Maybe with one pinky toe but change takes time and the older I get the longer it seems to take. At least the years have taught me that chocolate makes everything in (my) life easier. We drove some hours from our hotel in Bremen to Hoek van Holland to board the ferry to Harwich. My husband’s brother, who lives in the Netherlands, waved us goodbye with a well-filled lunch bag. My focus tarot card of the day is the second one in my “reclaim” tarot spread, the Ace of Cups. I find the suit of cups the most challenging as it is somewhat intangible and vague that I have difficulties integrating its messages by practical steps. It is like you cannot force a feeling of love, it needs space to grow, and as long as the practicalities of life suffocate the space, how could love emerge? I will need to have patience with myself, creating space, like the space around the chalice in the Ace of Cups in the Intuitive Night Goddess Tarot. The chalice is left alone to glow and an energised moth climbs out of its opening just at the right time. Meanwhile, let’s have a bite of chocolate, Tony’s Chocolonely, for the chocomaniac’s among us.

The bravery of being

This morning, my family and I packed our car full of stuff and drove to the first ferry on our trip. I am writing this while I we are crossing the Baltic Sea, going from Sweden to Germany, before continuing our journey to England, Ireland, and our final destination Spain. I am using this day’s head space to reflect on the first tarot card in my “reclaim” tarot spread, the 2 of Wands, which landed in the position of where I am currently at. A quote from the guidebook says: “Think about the things you have claimed and what else you feel to make your own”. In fact, in this very moment I do not feel in the mood to make new stuff or new roles my own. These past years have been pretty busy, creating a sense of security by acquiring things and doing what was expected of me. For the time being I would much prefer to return some of what I borrowed and wash gold from what will remain. The figure depicted in the 2 of Wands looks like she is unsure about where she belongs. A lush, floating cactus island lies right beneath her feet, carrying her to an unknown destination. She looks back through a gate of two wands, maybe regretful, maybe fearful? This is how I might have felt this morning when crossing under the pillars of the Öresund bridge that seems to separate Scandinavia from the warmer parts of the continent. My cactus spaceship is gaining momentum but emotionally I am still looking back. So here is what I will take from the 2 of Wands, the bravery of letting go and being in the moment, to claim my emotional presence this very day.

Time for reclamation

I am sitting in the café right in front of my office. It is my last day at work and I am essentially going to take one last coffee with a dear colleague and hand in my computer. Picking up my Intuitive Night Goddess Tarot and the Reclaim Oracle I do a ”reclaim” tarot spread. The cards tell me that I am in the place of the 2 of Wands, at the threshold to the Ace of Cups, going to reclaim my personal life with XVI Revolution, my relationship life with VIII Strength, and my work life with the Queen of Swords, about to step into the power of the Queen of Wands. The 10 of Wands drops out of the deck telling me to take it easy on myself, amplified by the oracle card Protection. What a beautiful draw. I will have to find ways to make the reclamation real in my life. It is not enough to change the external circumstances such as my address and employment. I will use this spread as a stepping off stone for deep inner work where I explore each one of the cards in its emotional and practical components. I see it coming!

A guide on my path

The Queen of Swords has revealed herself as a guide on my path in the Boho Tarot inspired monthly medicine practice. In what fashion can I let myself be guided by this queen? She sits firmly on her throne, eyes closed, and holding her sword like a meditative tool. It is her sharp mind and foresight that allow her to keep her eyes closed. Even if her eyes do not tell her what is going to come, her psychic connection to the world allows her to plot the next steps accurately and in a logical order. The wind comes as the messenger, an element that is full of surprises and commands a swift response. During the next days and maybe weeks I will do body journaling with the Queen of Swords, slipping into the body posture of this sovereign queen, letting my naked feet rest on rocks, and the wind kiss my cheeks. I love body journaling as a way of connecting with my tarot cards and integrating the messages into my daily life.