Sometimes I do things quick and dirty because I feel trapped in a tight-knit family dress and believe that jumping ahead of myself is the best way forward. Many parents, or otherwise busy people, easily get into the habit of rushing their tasks, fearing not being able to finish and manifest what they really dream of. I am in Spain now and my husband and son are at the beach for two weeks, leaving me completely alone in our new flat. It should be the perfect time to get things done, and I even do get things done, and everything looks FINE. But what the heck is going on inside of me? I find myself looking up business advice, counselling sessions, tarot readers, well, simply the full range of self-improvement tools for spiritual business owners. But as I scroll and scroll and scroll, I realise that I am caught up in a very unhelpful pattern.
I have already attended numerous courses in astrology and energy healing. I have polished my website, included a scheduling tool with available times, finalised a Patreon page, and even started a NEW YouTube channel (click here if curious) where I can embody the professional astrologer, starting on a clean slate, now that I have shed the skin of my so called “old life”. I realise that all of my weird behaviour is not rooted in a lack of preparation, but that it is a slice of impostor in disguise. The Numinous Spirit Press gave me really nice cards in the Rise’n’Shine Tarot Spread. In the position of what I need to clarify about my ambition to rise and shine, I got XIII Death and the Child. It tells me that I am no longer stuck, I have made the changes I wanted to make, and I have been brave and skilful. It is just about giving myself some time combusting old energy webs and giving my astrology baby space to breathe!